This post will be for those who came across, – here, – and don’t know what a GSR is ….
with Imagine Dragons in my ears, I’ve decided,
to go over this story one more time,
though I’ve endlessly repeated it before.
I have reasons to repeat it,
and you have reasons to listen to it.
And that’s how we start with unverifiable axioms.
****
I was somehow living my life.
I didn’t consider it wrong or somehow bad. I thought I was happy,
I thought I was brilliant,
probably the smartest person on the planet.
but people didn’t understand me.
The delicate strings of my soul were too easy to be torn, so I broke up with people,
before they broke something in me.
I was like a pink mussel
that thinks it’s making pearls, and hides in its shell,
but most of the people won’t even eat it because it looks like slime.
inedible-genius…
***
My relationship came to an end though I didn’t really want them in the first place, I was in hell …
I’d already done nudes, like so many things in my life, I did it out of spite. Once walking down the street, I went into a salon and got a spontaneous piercing and soon I slept with the first “good boy” I saw.
I was broken inside,
and I was looking for ways to pull myself together… for psychologists or art therapy, mostly.
I found GSR by accident.
I thought it was some kind of spiritual group.)
By that time I had accepted the fact that I fall in love only with some odd men, so I didn’t join this group for self-development purposes, I came because I thought that my target audience was there 🙂 and added all the more or less handsome sectarians to my friends.
so.
The problem was that my vk feed [social media] had changed radically since then, and now I was seeing all these posts about self-development.
I read one, then two, then a couple more.
I noticed that all the “GSR-people” seemed to be united by a common trait …
they’re all aiming for something.
they all working on a future that’s different from the present … I could sense, I could see that in the overall dynamic of the “group”,
but.
even though I bought the 1st Module GSR – oh my god – I’ve paid for it 14,000 rubles, the first thing I wanted was to get my money back.
too many axioms,
generic energies– what does that mean?
These schizos are too schizo.
spreading note papers on the floor.) Is that what they call “projective methodology”?
I never got my money back.)
I mean how. They told me
– We didn’t get such requestd before, but we will refund if you try it yourself, and if it doesn’t work, try it with a specialist. And if it doesn’t work then….
an obvious scam.
But
I was broken, I was angry at life, and I had nothing to do.
so.
I decided to prove that flipping note papers can’t work.
The thing is, if you’re responsible for proving something is bullshit,
you have to really dig in as a researcher. You have to do a clean job.
Otherwise, you’re gonna get a response:
– Aha! And here you made/looked/sneezed wrong, that’s why it didn’t work!
so, as an extremely sinister character,
I took the task very seriously.
I started an observation journal and wrote in it right away.
…
this post would be too long if I’m to describe each step further…..
But you know.
I am now an specialist in the GSR system,
and now I’ve
moved out of my mom’s house (we have a good relationship),
to live in a two-bedroom apartment by myself,
moved to a town I’ve always loved,
that is closer to nature and has a year-round heating system,
I’ve been to Thailand,
started earning my own money, got off the backs of my parents and men,
stopped being anxious,
finished my book,
recently purchased Module 3,
I realized that relationships aren’t just about pain,
I became independent,
I met new people,
I stopped getting nervous when I realize at the checkout in the shop that I forgot my card at home :),
fell in love,
lived six months watching soap operas and eating pizza like “ immature-me” always wanted to
and then I created a life where I hardly ever work,
and then I fell in love with working,
eating what I want,
watch what I want to watch,
do what I want to do during the day,
sleeping on the floor because I don’t like beds,
and writing posts from my favorite laptop placed on a shelf over the bathtub…
***
but none of that matters.
I don’t care about this,
not the pizza,
or the bath,
not that I look 30 times prettier- here’s a before-in the middle-after picture.
what’s important to me
that every step of the way.
here
gives me what I wanted most,
– control…
I’m a little god in my own little world,
and with every session I make for myself.
I get another control button.
At earlier times
I could choose at most which shirt I’d wear today,
and now I’m tuning in
how I’m feeling,
where I live,
who I’m hanging out with.
not only am I not broken,
I’m more put together
in a way I probably wasn’t meant to be when I was born.
I’m not back to the original code,
I’m better than I was as a child,
when I didn’t know any problems.
I’m better now than I was when I had my brightest childhood moments.
and the most important thing that GSR Module 1 gave me was access to my internal BIOS,
and I went into my internal settings
and I tweaked the sliders,
it’s like customizing a character in the Sims.
and the new character is awesome.
