I would like to share how I coped with a problem that is popular in our time – a teenager and computer games.
My son, a teenager, spends a lot of time at the computer, playing a popular game over the network. He studies well, is very erudite, finds contact with people easily, likes to walk, but devotes all his free time to the game at home and can stay up until late at night.
At a certain point, it started to bother me. I read information about gambling addiction and slowly started to panic…
Fear rose, it seemed to me that if I didn’t take action right now, my son would drop out of school, would not go to university, grow up a loser and stay with us forever, he would not have a good job, a wife, children, friends. And I will be to blame for everything, a bad mother, who did not save the child from a terrible addiction in time.
The first thing that was done was a conversation with my son about the fact of sitting at the computer a lot and that it would be great to communicate more with peers, start attending themed events and whatever. Either I couldn’t find the right words, or I didn’t manage to convey my idea, but the son replied that these were all my baseless fantasies, insisted that everything was fine with him, and that I was panicking in vain, and he had no addiction. And it seemed to me that he began sitting at the computer even more …
The second, the third effort to talk, and aggression began to increase on his part, he no longer tried to prove something to me, but simply fled to his computer world … I got a completely opposite effect.
Panic and a feeling of loss of control continued to grow inside me, there were thoughts of taking the computer or other forceful methods to resolve the issue. Relations with my son became very tense …
4 years ago I have learnt about the 1 GSR module “Working with myself” – this is an author’s technique that works with internal states. Obviously, my attitude to the situation prevented me from establishing contact with my son.
With the help of the 1 module, GSR I worked through the panic.
The uniqueness of the technique is that absolutely any capable person can master it – you follow the algorithm, stomp on the leaves and the state switches. There is a problem, there is you and there are leaves, that’s all you need.
The most interesting thing is that after working through the internal state, instead of panic, I became calm inside and turned on constructive thinking. I was curious about what my son was doing in his virtual world…
I wanted to find out the idea not to subsequently ban it, but I was honestly interested. When I started asking questions to my son, at first he answered in monosyllables, but apparently, sensing my interest, he opened up and told me how and what.
It turned out that the world he periodically plunged into was not just a game, it was a whole community of like-minded people, tournaments, events where he was an architect, organizer, participant, and there were also real meetings. I think it’s cool.
I became so proud of my son, I saw his growth, his successes. I liked what he was creating there, and he also said that he not only played at the computer, but watched scientific films (so that’s how he knows so much, but it didn’t even occur to me).
My son also reacted adequately to my fears that the hobby could turn into addiction – he took it into account and promised that he would devote more time to reality. It’s been six months now, and he’s doing it.
I don’t feel like a bad mother, I’m not afraid for him, on the contrary, I want to support him in his successes. Contact has become more open and trusting. I hear him and he hears me. And it’s so cool!
Now I’m thinking where I got all this nonsense about the fact that he will become a loser, or that he will not enter any university …. I don’t know … It’s great that now I don’t have such thoughts.
And it turns out that it was this inner state and thoughts that did not allow me to really look at the situation with my son and build contact. I wanted to take everything away and ban it, because there was panic, because it was scary to lose control. The teenager’s response was appropriate – he snapped, closed himself and did not want to talk at all.
After I picked the right words, showed sincere interest, my son changed his behavior.
It is interesting that you can read a lot about it, listen, talk and do everything on the advice of your mother, a girlfriend, a psychologist, but I think that if you don’t have calmness and confidence inside, then it’s unlikely that you can get a stable result in reality – this is my opinion.
I am glad that I have such a tool as 1 GSR module, with which you can naturally and safely transform your states, and take steps in reality to change the situation.
