I was 33 years old, when I divorced after 9 years of a horrible marriage. I was devastated, deadly fatigue, I felt an icy desert inside and had absolutely no idea of starting a family again ever. I needed to hide, lick my wounds, rise from the ashes. Faded, depressed, I walked down the street without raising my eyes.
In this state, I got a session with Dmitry Ustinov, the author of the GSR methodology – I decided to make myself such a birthday present. After 1.5 hours this inner darkness of mine was reset to zero, dissolved … I came out of there with my eyes shining. It was a very striking change. My new state was somehow familiar, it reminded me of a bit a long-forgotten state, when I was 15 years old, my teenage acne suddenly disappeared, and I felt that the opposite sex liked me. I felt my attractiveness, girl’s power. The state after the session seemed to be the same, but more full-flowing, bright, it sounded at full power. I walked down the street and felt how I was radiating the vibes of charm, people turned around after me, opened me the doors, gave me a hand, helped me carry my bags … I was seriously engaged in yoga for many years, and this helped me a lot not to go crazy in my hell, but the hell itself did not go anywhere. But after the session I felt as if a general cleaning inside was done. I started attending all GSR meetings in Novosibirsk. Soon, when the queue for the session to Dmitry exceeded six months, he decided to teach people so that they could do the sessions on their own. I was in this first group, and in 3 days I mastered the technique of working with myself – 1 GSR module.
It became my “magic wand” and I enthusiastically poked it at everything. I couldn’t recruit the group for training in Ayurveda for several months – I was doing a session, and the group gathered in 3 days. The financial plan of my department was not fulfilled – I was doing a session, and it was done with a good overlap. I wanted to get a gold medal at the international vocal competition (which has never happened in many years) – voila, the ensemble and I took gold medal in Vienna!
But I hesitated to apply it to a problem that was really serious for me, – that I could not have children. Because I thought I’d tried everything. An official medicine, my favorite Ayurveda, various body-oriented practices, trips to saints and to special temples, personal yoga mantras from my Guru; I went to shamans and healers, I worked with a psychotherapist for a long time. Unconsciously I was afraid that if I tried to apply the 1 GSR module to my invincible problem, and nothing worked, I would lose my last hope.
It took 5 (!) years before I accumulated the strength to try to change what did not work in any way. I was prepared to fail. In January 2021, I did a session on the fact that I don’t want to be a ‘mother’, which means ‘like my mother’. I have a prosperous parental family, both mother and father, my parents loved me as best they could – but inside it sounded exactly – oh, no, not like her! There were a lot of insults and claims towards my mother inside me. I didn’t get pregnant after that session. But the contact with my parents has improved markedly. I continued to dig into this topic, without much expectations.
Then I thought that maybe I was afraid that after the birth of a child my life will turn into hell, as it was with many of my friends? I did a session on this fear.
Then I did sessions on the fear that I would never be able to feed the child, I couldn’t even support myself. Then I worked with the fear that my career would end with the birth of a child. Also the fear of losing a child in infancy. And for many more.
In October 2021, I became pregnant, for the first time in my life, at the age of 37.
I didn’t take the pregnancy test for a long time, although it was already 3 weeks delay. Because I got sick of making them for so many years. And when I saw two stripes … I just could not believe that this could happen to me.
After that there were many sessions during pregnancy, for all sorts of fears. In general I believe that the 1 module is strongly recommended for pregnant women and young mothers, because it is very safe and effective, and there are a huge number of potentially stressful situations during this period.
Now my miracle is almost two years old) Even then, after the divorce, acquaintance with GSR was some kind of turning point. But with the birth of my daughter, life was really divided into “before and after”, I believed that by changing myself, I can really change everything. Even what seems impossible.
